Frustrations

I'm STILL waiting on my books! I love their prices but I have been told in the past when the same thing happened that they don't have the "man power" to drop an e-mail to let you know when/if your order has been shipped. Hopefully tomorrow they will get here!

"Mouthing" didn't work. Not that Payton didn't think it was fun but its incrediblely hard to tell what someone is saying by mouthing the word....give it a try lol! We might still try this game though b/c "mouthing" a word is a step to communicating.

Therapy, tomorrow. I'll give an update on how it goes!

Do's and Don'ts for parents

The Do’s and Don’ts of Helping a Selectively Mute Child

Do’s
1. Listen
2. Encourage
3. Parents should form a united team and work together to help the child
4. Parents should privately discuss the SM behaviors and create a plan they can both agree to.
5. Educate others; this is not “stubbornness” or willful behavior on the part of the child, as is commonly believed.
6. Reward communicative behavior (nodding, note writing, waving, etc.), not speech.
7. Build upon the child’s existing strengths (singing, use of funny voices, reading, etc.)
8. Know how and where the child communicates
9. Help the child build friendships one at a time
10. When ready, introduce the use of audio and video taping

Don’ts
1. Ask, “Did you talk today?”
2. Criticize the child for not talking
3. Put added pressure on the child by demanding speech or trying to trick him or her into speech
4. Forget to give as much attention and time to the other children in the household
5. Foster dependence. Instead, find ways to help him or her communicate with others nonverbally
6. Discuss the child and his or her problems in front of the child or the other children in the family.
7. Praise in public; this attention makes the child feel more self-conscious

http://www.selectivemutism.net/index_files/page0003.htm

Another good article...

I came across this one today. Some helpful suggestions for a Selectively Mute child at school...

http://www.acposb.on.ca/mutism.html

It suggests trying to have your child "mouth" the word. I don't know if she will try that in therapy or not but I'm going to bring it up. We tried about a month ago to get Payton to "blow" or make a noise (during therapy) and she wasn't ready at that point. Mouthing is silent though so maybe she'd be able to do it. I'm thinking about practicing at home and making it a game so maybe when we try it at therapy in a more anxious situation she'd be less anxious to try it. Mouthing would be excellent though for situations she doesn't have a pad of paper with her or she's trying to write something she can't spell. Mouthing is one step closer to whispering too...baby steps!

Still waiting on my new books! Hopefully they will be here today!

Payton's pic

I had a comment about Payton's pic on the right and her "silly" face. Just wanted to comment for anyone reading my blog who isn't familiar with SM. I selected this pic very intentially! The face and stance in this pic is very common for a child with SM. Often when they are anxious they will not be able to make eye contact, they have their head down, lip quivering, shoulders up and ridgid movement. SM kids find it hard to smile or have blank expressions when they are anxious too. She often has that stance when someone she doesn't know is taking the pic too...like this one that she refused to look up when we asked a stranger at Kings Island to snap a family pic really quick...


Anyways, I picked this pic not because she was being silly or anything like that but b/c it truely is "the face of a child with selective mutism."

building confidence

Payton had therapy again today. I brought up to April about how Paytons sensory issues are improving. Before Payton would only wear a VERY select few outfits and even more select selection of shoes. Lately she's more willing to try new outfits on and she's even worn a few outfits that didn't fit into her "very baggy, doesn't rub anywhere etc" category. Sunday for church she pulled out a pair of shoes that I bought for her Halloween costume last year that until now shes NEVER worn. Her therapist said she's not too surprised about this b/c as Payton's confidence builds, her anxiety starts to lessen and these things start to improve. I know it sounds totally unrelated that her sensory issues have anything to do with anxiety and SM but it's connected somehow. We are very happy to see improvement in this department! Last year when we went shoe shopping we tried on every shoe in the store and left empty-handed now more recently she's wear many more and many new outfits! Anyways, its good to see that even though we aren't verbal *yet* we are seeing improvements. We'll get there *someday!*

This is HUGE!

As you guys know, people Payton meets in the "school setting" she can't talk to. It doesn't seem to matter if they are taken out of the school setting...if thats where she first encounters them she can't bring herself to talk to them after that. Payton was best friends with Lily at her school all last year but she of course never spoke to her. Today we got home from church and Lily had called and left a message for Payton. Payton was so excited and called her back and SPOKE to her. It was an amazing thing to witness! Best friends for a year but Payton had only communicated with her non-verbally, now sharing their FIRST verbal conversation! Payton asked her if she had any brothers or sisters and told her, her siblings names. She even invited her to come and play this week. Of course with 6 year olds they both agreed but didn't pick a date so I'll have to call her mom back this week. This is an amazingly huge step! Now if I could just talk Lily's parents into moving into our new neighborhood so they can be in 1st grade together lol!

Therapy!

It's been a while since I've posted so I wanted to share where we're at. Payton started therapy in late April. We were told that progress is very slow for this type of therapy and short, frequent sessions are best. She's been seeing April once a week for an hour a session. We are making some progress. At first she would not whisper in front of April (we'd go in the hallway) but she's graduated into whispering to me in front of April. She's filling tablets of paper telling April things that way but no words yet. She really enjoys April though and tells me how she would love to talk to her "someday!"

We've had some exciting steps forward like telling the girl at Target "thank you" in the dressing room and talking to the neighbor boy who will be attending first grade with her. It seems people met in a non-school environment she is sometimes able to talk to in small amounts....we're hoping to make this work for us by making some new friends outside of school and then requesting they're in the same class. On the flip-side we've had some reminders of how being non-verbal STINKS....they mis-spelled her name on a VBS tag this week and she wasn't able to communicate this to her teacher and it really upset her that her name had been spelled wrong. They forgot to call her name to "pick a buddy" too but Payton wasn't able to communicate that either ;o( We've been sending a pad of paper and a pen to VBS every since so if she needs to talk, she can write in down. I told her teacher about it and instructed Payton to write it down and hold the paper above her head....it worked like a charm when she had to go to the bathroom today! yeah!

I ordered a few more books from sm.org last night also. "The Ideal Classroom..." was excellent so I ordered the other one by the same author. I also ordered a childrens book that looks really good! I hope maybe her teacher can read it to the class the first week to explain a little about Payton! Richie and I are working on making a card like the one in sm.orgs bookstore too of common things Payton would need to communicate and then she can point to it on the card. Hopefully that will help this school year!

Selective Mutism in the News...

Great article in People's Magazine a few weeks ago. SelectiveMutism.org has the article posted here....

http://www.selectivemutism.org/news/people-magazine-spotlights-dr-elisa-shipon-blum-director-emeritus

I ordered "The Ideal Classroom Setting for the selectively Mute Child" today too written by this same Dr. I'll add that and this article for my "Teacher Kit" for next year.

A coupleof updates....

We are finally making progress on getting Payton into her therapy sessions! I got a letter in the mail saying they have an opening but when I called they said they had left several messages and when I didnt respond they closed the case. Come to find out it was the wrong number so they are getting the case opened back up and hopefully SOON she will start therapy! Payton also had an "intervention" at school this week. I was nervous at first! The letter sent home really came off that they wanted to use Payton as a guinea pig and asking me to agree to testing etc. I was NOT comfortable with that idea. My mom and I attended the meeting and I was pleasantly surprised. They did ask lots of questions about Selective Mutism so luckily my mom and I came prepared with research and the news story that aired last week and complimenting article. Her teacher is really impressed with how far Payton has come. She's the first to raise her hand during math and then she answers the questions by holding up fingers. She also follows along with her fingers during reading group, gets her own glue sticks etc. Her teacher told the school board how Payton was "on target, no above target for her age group" her words, not mine but it made me boast that I have a smart cookie for a daughter lol. We came up with some ideas together such as Payton recording Mrs. S messages and having her play them back to her at school. Also my mom mentioned how she likes to help the other kids in Sunday school and does talk in very small group settings at church. The one special ed teacher suggested maybe she let Payton come with a group of 2 girls that need help and let Payton help tudor them and hope it would encourage some words with the smaller group setting. Payton had so much fun holding up flash cards etc for the other girls. She told me how she was helping the girls learn their letters and it was fun! Payton also is recieving an award at school tonight. Each month 10 kids are nominated for the entire school for showing things like pride, sportsmanship, responsibility etc. Payton was nominated by the Librarian.

Big Milestone for Payton!

I have the bravest, smartest little girl ever! Payton had more Kindergarden testing on the 17th and this time her teacher insisted that she would be at the table as I read the questions. Payton wasn't big on that idea and instantly went into shut down mode. We tried turning her chair slightly so she wasn't looking at her teacher etc and it didn't work she started crying and getting upset. Her teacher went in the hall for a sec so Payton could collect herself and I could talk to her. Payton asked if Mrs S could "turn her ears off." I went in the hall and asked her to "turn off her ears" and she agreed. Payton sat in my lap as Mrs S read her the questions and trembling, Payton squeeked out the answers. I was so proud of her! She was so brave to let Mrs S hear her voice because this is such a huge thing for a child with Selective Mutism! It was so hard for me as a parent to see Payton stressed like that though but I know its important for them to see her progress too. I'm proud to say Payton only missed 1 question! She didn't answer her birthday but it wasn't because she didn't know it, it was because it was the first question and she was so nervous she couldn't get her words. Mrs S was so proud of her too that she let her have a piece of candy, a sticker and treasure box! Payton is wearing her sunglasses she picked proudly because she knows what a good job she did! The next round of testing her teacher wants her to do it w/o me being there but I don't think she will be ready by then to do it by herself. Today was progress! She overcame her fear and was able to make her voice in front of her teacher a HUGE milestone for a SM kid!!! Yeah Payton!

Official Diagnosis

Payton had her appointment with Childrens the day after Thanksgiving and we have her official diagnosis. After reading through about 20 pages of questions her Dr said it was one of the easiest diagnosis' she has ever made! Payton has Selective Mutism, Obsessive Cumpulsive Disorder and Sensory Integration Dysfunction. The second two are pretty common for Selective Mutes to also have. Its been just over a month and I am still waiting to hear back from their office. They are trying to get Payton into a therapist closer to home because I'm not big on the idea of driving down town and they don't want to start her with one therapist and then switch her. I'm going to call the one closer to home and see what the hold up is early next week because I really want her to get started before next school year! I got the books I ordered and they werent at all what I thought they would be. There was some communication issues with the company I ordered from so they gave me a credit for a free book. I'm going to get that ordered too but in the meantime I passed the other books onto her teacher. Not much has changed on the school front. Payton continues to comminicate non-verbally and was very excited to be the person who got to point out the words as the class read them a few weeks ago. I'll post as we have more updates! If you're reading please leave me a comment! I'd love to hear from other parents of SM kids!